Tag Archives: TEMP TIMES

How to Dump Your Boss

The step-by-step guide from a low-tech girl –

  1. Call your girlfriend the night before and run through your break-up speech while simultaneously venting about your situation even though you’ve already talked her ear off over the last three (or 10) months about the subject.
  2. Grab lunch with your other girlfriend right before the big moment to pump you up and make sure you don’t give in and change your mind halfway through the break-up speech.
  3. Take a walk with your boss instead of meeting in a conference room since the weather is nice and being outdoors provides you with more opportunities to run if it doesn’t go well.
  4. Attempt to open with the break-up speech but then chicken out and ask about your boss’s recent vacation.
  5. Drop the bomb halfway through the conversation as ineloquently as possible since you’ve already ditched the script, you might as well rip the band-aid right off.
  6. Drop a few more bombs about the imminent sh*t storms you were supposed to prevent from happening while said boss was away on vacation.
  7. Watch the level of confusion and disappointment rise with each bomb dropped especially since boss thought things were going so well.
  8. Attempt to recover by using the classic “It’s not you, it’s me” speech while awkwardly trying to phrase it so the focus is more on the fact that you have big (and maybe crazy) dreams of working in Entertainment and less on the fact that you need out.*

    • *And here you thought I was talking about how to break up with a boss you’ve dated. Lbr, the only steady relationship I’ve ever had is with me, myself and this plate of spaghetti I’ve seemed to be making every day this week.
  9. Walk back to your cubicles and exhale. You did it. You officially dumped your boss. You did what’s best for you and not what’s best for your boss, your team, or your conservative parents that always say a full-time job with steady pay is the most important thing in the world.

Now all you have to do is get through the rest of your temp contract without burning any bridges and make sure you have some sort of game plan if your contract ends before Tinsel Town calls you with a job offer. Because going to that Good-bye office party without a game plan is just an awkward moment waiting to happen.

You say flight delay…

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I say time to get my life on track. Continue reading

Dinner at the boss’s

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Ever wonder what your boss’s digs look like? I do. Not all the time though, that’d be a little weird and a whole lot of creepy.

But seriously, haven’t you ever wondered if your boss lives in a pimped-out mansion or a one-bedroom apartment with 18 kids and a pet rat named Christopher? More importantly, haven’t you ever wondered what your life would be like if you continued down the same road and became an exec like your boss, what your paycheck would be like (read: haven’t you ever wondered if you’re going to end up living in a cardboard box behind a dive bar in a cold, cold city where no one knows your name since salary is such a taboo topic and you’ll never really know if you’ve made it until… well, you make it?)?

I have and let me just say… this man does not live in a cardboard box.  Continue reading

Lessons learned on the job

Sitting in a cubicle looking at documents and packaging materials all day can be a pain but that pain can be well worth it if you pick up a few tricks or two.imageSay for example, I’ve realized how great of an investment a mini-DVI to HDMI adapter can be for my couch-potatoing ways. More specifically, sittin’ in a cubicle and staring at computer monitors from 9 – 5 made me realize that I should be taking advantage of the huge living room TV that is currently collecting dust (except for the days when Roommate and Roommate’s boyfriend play Mario Party in awkward (for me) silence).

So I ordered myself an adapter on Ebay, hooked up my laptop and started streaming my Netflix on a widescreen.

Brb while I go relive the 90s and watch TV shows fueled by teenage angst. Dawson’s Creek, anyone?

And another one gone

imageIf there’s one thing that I’ve learned in the last 6 months on the job it’s that the perks only last so long.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m still thoroughly enjoying the complementary meals, the rainbow bicycles and the lenient dress code but it seems like, after a while, the perks just aren’t enough and 5 (years) is the magic number. Continue reading